Mmm… My toes taste good!

My dad called me yesterday to catch me up on the recent goings-on at his work. I used to work there too and a woman I knew was fired recently. I learned a valuable lesson once when listening to a conversation between my dad and this woman.

We were in the warehouse and walking down the dock talking about something. The woman came up and started making small talk with my dad and I. She had a baby about 6 months before, but had still not lost any of the weight she put on while pregnant. So my dad makes the wise decision to say something like, “So you’re pregnant again huh?”. I think her response was, “No… I’m just fat and I haven’t lost any of the weight.” Oops. That moment solidified my thought that you never make any comment about a woman being pregnant unless she’s 9 months pregnant and it’s absolutely obvious.

I wouldn’t say that I’m known for putting my foot in my mouth, but I have done it quite a few times myself.

When I was living in the dorms I went to visit one of my friends. His roommate was a shy, quiet, and dorky guy. That’s says a lot coming from me, since I myself was shy, quiet, and dorky. Anyway, I find a prom picture on this guy’s desk and he’s standing with this completely hot girl. No way. So I say, “There is no way he took this girl to the prom. He is so ugly and she is so hot. It must be his cousin.” My back was to the door when I made the comment and the roommate had walked in. I tried to cover by laughing and saying, “I knew you were back there. I was just messing with you.” I don’t think he bought it.

The worst was when I went grocery shipping one time with James (my roommate at the time). It was late at night and there was no one in the store. I was pushing the cart down the bread aisle and James was right behind me. As I was walking down the aisle, a black man came around the corner with his cart and was walking toward me. For the most part he looked normal , but he had a jheri curl. This wasn’t just any jheri curl. This guys hair was shiny and glistening. I could actually smell the hair product coming from this guy. It was so wet that it was slowly dripping onto his shoulders. Think “Soul Glow” from Coming to America. So this guy walks past me and I stop and count to 20 before saying, “Damn James, did you smell that guys jheri curl juice?” I turn around to look at James and James is at the other end of the aisle. The black man is standing about 10 feet away from me. I turned back around and pushed my cart around the corner as quickly as possible (without running) and stood there waiting for the guy to come kick my ass.

There have been many other times, but these are the one’s that I remember the fondest.

On a side note I found a story on CNN.com where a woman in Italy was killed when a cross fell on her. The cross was in the middle of the town square where workers were setting up for a religions festival. I think this is God’s way of telling us he doesn’t was to be worshipped anymore.