Words of wisdom

With the news today from http://www.brokencandy.com/ that Mike and Brian will be moving to live with their girlfriends (Caroline and Kelly), Adam and Jennie getting married, and James' girlfriend having successfully kept a toothbrush at his place, I thought I would pass along some wisdom.

"Fine"
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

"Five Minutes"
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

"Nothing"
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

"Go Ahead"
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

"That's Okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

"Thanks"
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.