My paranoia
I have been thinking paranoid thoughts since Wednesday afternoon. Actually, it is probably safe to say that I am always paranoid (just ask Vanessa), but it has been exaggerated since my interview. So you can follow along, I’ll put the thoughts going through my head in italics…
Wednesday
I arrived early to fill out some paperwork, but even after the paperwork I was still ready about 10 minutes early. They called the VP of Finance (my first interview) and told me she would be right down. Ten minutes go by. Okay, it’s still only 1:00 pm and I wasn’t supposed to start until 1:00 pm. No problem. Where should my hands be? Should my briefcase be on my right side or left side? When she appears make sure to smile. How will I know it’s her? Smile, shake hands, pick-up my brief case, go with the flow of her conversation. Now 20 minutes have gone by. Okay, now it’s only 1:10 pm, but she knows I’ve been waiting for 20 minutes. Why is this taking so long? Maybe she’s purposefully doing this to show me she’s in charge and can make me wait. Maybe she’s doing this to throw me off. Is there a camera in the lobby? Maybe she’s watching me. No, I don’t see any cameras. Maybe this is a test to see how “take charge” I am. Is she waiting for me to have the receptionist call her again? No. Just wait. Where are my hands? Should I have my legs crossed like this? I better uncross them. I want to be sitting up straight, but not look uncomfortable. Now 25 minutes have gone by. What’s going on? Oh, there’s somebody… At that point the VP of Human Resources came out and apologized for the confusion. The VP of Finance thought I was waiting for her upstairs and couldn’t find me. That’s odd, I would think she would call the receptionist to see where I was if she couldn’t find me. Oh well.
Through all of my interviews…
Be friendly, be confident, eye contact, where are my hands? Am I smiling? Are they saying these things to test me or do they really believe what they are saying? Do they like me? Am I convincing them that I am the right person for the job?
Immediately after the interviews…
That was pretty easy. Why didn’t they ask me any hard questions? I wanted them to ask those questions, because I have good answers. What if they just make assumptions about things on my resume, since they didn’t ask me about them? They didn’t really give me much of a chance to talk about myself. Maybe it’s because my resume is so thorough. She said I should expect to hear back from them quick. How quick? That went well. I think I did a great job.
Thursday morning…
Maybe I screwed up. I should have put my answer that way. I wish I could do that part again. I wonder if anyone else applied for the position. I checked my messages at home about 10 times during the day hoping they would call. No call. That day I sent off my Thank You letters to all four people I interviewed with. I tried to make each one sound unique and catered them to the conversation I had with each person. I think they turned out well. That afternoon I heard that two of the people I interviewed with liked me a lot. That boosted my confidence. I also remembered they still had to do a background check on me, run my credit, check my resume, call my references, and so on, so it might take a couple of days.
Friday
I checked my messages at home again throughout the day. No luck. No celebration dinner tonight. Just be patient. I didn’t put much thought into it this weekend, other than thinking about the disappointment if I didn’t get the position and that I should be looking around for other positions just in case.
Last night
Can’t sleep. It’s midnight. I need to get up in 5 hours. What did the VP of Finance think of me? Did I leave a good impression? She seemed to like me. Maybe she was just being nice. Is there something I said that killed my chances?
This morning
It’s going to take some time. They may still be interviewing. Maybe they’re still running my background stuff. I know the VP of Finance is really busy, plus she has multiple positions she is interviewing for. They don’t really need to hire someone for a couple of weeks. If they really wanted me they wouldn’t wait though. Right? Maybe I should see if they checked my credit yet. No. Just wait. Should I call my professional references or old employers to see if they have been contacted yet? No. Just be patient.
Yes, I really am this paranoid sometimes. I know I just need to relax and be patient, but I just want to know what’s going on. Hopefully, I won’t give myself an aneurysm today. I also need to remember my rule. Everything takes 6 times longer than I think it should. I might not even get a call this week.
Wednesday
I arrived early to fill out some paperwork, but even after the paperwork I was still ready about 10 minutes early. They called the VP of Finance (my first interview) and told me she would be right down. Ten minutes go by. Okay, it’s still only 1:00 pm and I wasn’t supposed to start until 1:00 pm. No problem. Where should my hands be? Should my briefcase be on my right side or left side? When she appears make sure to smile. How will I know it’s her? Smile, shake hands, pick-up my brief case, go with the flow of her conversation. Now 20 minutes have gone by. Okay, now it’s only 1:10 pm, but she knows I’ve been waiting for 20 minutes. Why is this taking so long? Maybe she’s purposefully doing this to show me she’s in charge and can make me wait. Maybe she’s doing this to throw me off. Is there a camera in the lobby? Maybe she’s watching me. No, I don’t see any cameras. Maybe this is a test to see how “take charge” I am. Is she waiting for me to have the receptionist call her again? No. Just wait. Where are my hands? Should I have my legs crossed like this? I better uncross them. I want to be sitting up straight, but not look uncomfortable. Now 25 minutes have gone by. What’s going on? Oh, there’s somebody… At that point the VP of Human Resources came out and apologized for the confusion. The VP of Finance thought I was waiting for her upstairs and couldn’t find me. That’s odd, I would think she would call the receptionist to see where I was if she couldn’t find me. Oh well.
Through all of my interviews…
Be friendly, be confident, eye contact, where are my hands? Am I smiling? Are they saying these things to test me or do they really believe what they are saying? Do they like me? Am I convincing them that I am the right person for the job?
Immediately after the interviews…
That was pretty easy. Why didn’t they ask me any hard questions? I wanted them to ask those questions, because I have good answers. What if they just make assumptions about things on my resume, since they didn’t ask me about them? They didn’t really give me much of a chance to talk about myself. Maybe it’s because my resume is so thorough. She said I should expect to hear back from them quick. How quick? That went well. I think I did a great job.
Thursday morning…
Maybe I screwed up. I should have put my answer that way. I wish I could do that part again. I wonder if anyone else applied for the position. I checked my messages at home about 10 times during the day hoping they would call. No call. That day I sent off my Thank You letters to all four people I interviewed with. I tried to make each one sound unique and catered them to the conversation I had with each person. I think they turned out well. That afternoon I heard that two of the people I interviewed with liked me a lot. That boosted my confidence. I also remembered they still had to do a background check on me, run my credit, check my resume, call my references, and so on, so it might take a couple of days.
Friday
I checked my messages at home again throughout the day. No luck. No celebration dinner tonight. Just be patient. I didn’t put much thought into it this weekend, other than thinking about the disappointment if I didn’t get the position and that I should be looking around for other positions just in case.
Last night
Can’t sleep. It’s midnight. I need to get up in 5 hours. What did the VP of Finance think of me? Did I leave a good impression? She seemed to like me. Maybe she was just being nice. Is there something I said that killed my chances?
This morning
It’s going to take some time. They may still be interviewing. Maybe they’re still running my background stuff. I know the VP of Finance is really busy, plus she has multiple positions she is interviewing for. They don’t really need to hire someone for a couple of weeks. If they really wanted me they wouldn’t wait though. Right? Maybe I should see if they checked my credit yet. No. Just wait. Should I call my professional references or old employers to see if they have been contacted yet? No. Just be patient.
Yes, I really am this paranoid sometimes. I know I just need to relax and be patient, but I just want to know what’s going on. Hopefully, I won’t give myself an aneurysm today. I also need to remember my rule. Everything takes 6 times longer than I think it should. I might not even get a call this week.
posted by Page at
8:31 AM
5 Comments:
Page,
You are not alone. I go through similar thoughts as well. Just be patient. And remember this "if it is meant to be it will be, if not you will realize it later"
Chow
By
Anonymous, At
12:38 PM
Did you leave your phone number?
By
Anonymous, At
2:07 PM
I think Chow is one of Page's asian friends.
By
Anonymous, At
6:08 PM
Page - it'll be fine. Just relax while you have the time off. I expect to read about beer drinking and hitting golf balls, so get to it.
By
Anonymous, At
8:30 PM
Actually Mikey, I'm still working. Since the VP has been out of my hair for the past two weeks I ha ve gotten tons of stuff done. I spent an hour going over what we have accomplished and the next steps. He seemed happy. In the meantime, I'm still looking and I'm sure he is too. Whatever.
By
Page, At
7:38 AM
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