The first 2 weeks...

Hannah is a little over a week old now, so I feel that I can now write to you all as an expert at parenting! So here is what being a new parent is like…

1. Minimal sleep. While it has become slightly better, we get sleep in chunks of 5 minutes to 3 hours at a time. The newest plan is to try an keep her awake in the afternoon, so she is ready to sleep around 8:30 or 9:00 every night. Sometimes this works and sometimes is doesn’t. It is getting better every day. You can’t let them sleep more than 3 hours though, because they need to be fed.
2. If you are the dad, you will now be a gopher. You will spend ½ of your time getting things for the baby or the mom. This is especially true if mom had a C-Section. This is what will wear you out the most.
3. Changing diapers. You will learn tricks over the first two weeks and at some point your hands will be completely covered with poop trying to figure out how to hold the baby without making it worse. I have learned that Hannah will either poop or pee, then just after you clean her with wipes, the real poop and pee comes. She will send a blast of poop 2 feet across the changing table covering your hand, the changing pad, the changing table, baskets, wipes, and anything else within range with Dijon-mustard-consistency poop. As you are standing there with her feet in one hand and your other hand covered in poop, you will look at the wipes, which are also covered in poop trying to figure out how to clean-up the poop, when the wipes are covered in poop. This is where a wife comes in handy.
4. You live for the 30 minutes. There are about 30 minutes spread-out through the day when they are not sleeping, pooping, peeing, feeding, or crying that Hannah is completely adorable. It’s not that she can’t be adorable during these other activities, but you pull out the camera during those other times. They get a bit of a smirk, or go a little cross-eyed, because the eye muscles are still forming.
5. Read or sing to your baby. We try and read at least one story every day to Hannah. We also sing. It wasn’t until we had Hannah that I realized I don’t remember the lyrics or words to any song completely. So you begin making-up words, or humming. Hannah doesn’t mind. She just likes hearing our voices. I will be brushing-up on my nursery rhymes.

I can’t imagine trying to do this as a single parent or with twins. It’s a lot of work, but it’s completely worth it. I’m going back to work on May 21^st. Vanessa’s mom is going to take that week off to help Vanessa with the baby that week. I feel bad for going back to work, but I will have been off for 3 weeks and I need to get back. I know Vanessa will do well. She has been the most amazing mom to Hannah and has been patient with my novice parenting skills.

I'M A DAD!!!

Sigh… It’s been a long week. First, let me say that it’s not Hannah or Vanessa. Hannah is adorable and well behaved. Vanessa has been very sweet and it’s been nice to spend time with her.

On Monday (April 30th), we went to see Vanessa’s chiropractor. She has been seeing him regularly for about 4 months now. He specializes in adjusting pregnant women and children. Vanessa was 41 weeks pregnant, the baby hadn’t dropped, and Vanessa showed no signs of delivering anytime soon. He showed us a pressure point to relax one of the ligaments that may be keeping the baby from dropping and to get the baby to turn in the right direction. After that we went to lunch. While we were at lunch Vanessa started getting contractions. We hastily got lunch wrapped-up to go and headed home.

These contractions went on from 1:30 pm that day, until 9:00 am the next morning when they ramped-up and started becoming stronger. These contractions were coming every 5 to 7 minutes, so we didn’t get much sleep that night. The stronger contractions that started around 9:00 am were so strong that Vanessa couldn’t walk or stand on her own. They were coming every 5 to 14 minutes in waves. We called Vanessa’s mom, since she lives 2 hours away. Vanessa was able to take a nap and by 2:30 it was time to go to our appointment at the Midwife’s office. This wasn’t a comfortable drive for Vanessa.

When we got to the Midwife they examined Vanessa to see how far along she was. The midwife told her staff to close the office and cancel all of her appointments. YEAH!!! I followed the midwife out and asked her how far Vanessa was. She said 6 centimeters! Wow! She needed to get to 10 cm or so to deliver, so we were close.

For the next 14 hours, Vanessa and I became closer than ever before and we each learned a lot about each other. She is by far the bravest, strongest, and most determined person I have ever met. Most people would have not chosen a natural childbirth. Most people would have given-up after 5 or 6 hours. Vanessa was calm, sweet, and focused for 14 hours straight. I’m not going to go into all of the detail, but it was amazing.

For 14 hours the Midwife, her team, Vanessa’s mom, Vanessa, and I tried everything possible, but the baby would not drop. The Midwife, Amber, explained the baby’s head was tilted to the side and that was preventing the baby from dropping. Vanessa had contractions the entire time starting 5 minutes apart and lasting a minute, to toward the end the contractions were several minutes long and overlapping. At 4:00 in the morning, we called in a chiropractor that works with the Midwives to see if she could do anything. That didn’t work either. Finally, at 5:30 am, I went to talk to Amber. We both agreed that it was time to go to the hospital, which meant getting a C-Section.

I knew that Vanessa would never give-up unless everyone agreed it was the right thing to do. Even after telling her, it took an hour to get Vanessa to her Aunt Beth’s car. We all drove to the hospital. Amber went in ahead of us and took care of most of the admitting paperwork. Within 5 minutes of getting to the hospital, Vanessa was in a room. Within another 20 minutes, we had answered all of the questions about allergies, and signed all of the release forms. Amber was in the room with us the entire time acting as a buffer between the hospital staff and us. Remember, the reason we chose South Coast Midwifery is that we didn’t like the hospital environment and the possibility of a C-Section. Vanessa and I were wheeled to the surgery room. Vanessa and I gave each other a couple of kisses while fighting back tears. I dressed in scrubs, while they wheeled Vanessa into the room for surgery.

I had to wait until they had her prepped before I could come into the room. I went through so many emotions during those 10 minutes. Fear, love, exhaustion, worry, stress, love, excitement, and more exhaustion.

Once they had her on the table and had the epidural set, they brought me into the room. Vanessa was prepped for surgery. They had a draping separating her head and her body. They had a stool for me next to her head. I sat by her, held her hand, and talked to her as I saw the surgeons begin moving around. I could only assume the procedure has started, since I didn’t want to look over the dressing. There were 12 people in the room all either tending to Vanessa or waiting to take care of our new baby. Vanessa was giggling and talking to everyone. She wasn’t drugged, but she couldn’t feel anything from her chest down. The other relief is that she couldn’t feel the contractions anymore.

After two or three minutes I heard the doctor say, “Congratulations, you have a girl!”. I was in shock and just wanted to make sure the baby was healthy. Vanessa and I had several discussions throughout the pregnancy. We agreed that once the baby was born, that I would not leave the baby’s side. I looked at Vanessa and she said, “Hi Hannah!” She then told me to go to the baby. As I walked over to the table I could see Hannah was already pink, had a head full of hair, and was very alert. All unusual for a baby 10 seconds after being born. I glanced at her fingers and toes and without counting each one, I could tell they looked normal. I leaned my head next to hers and said, “Hi Hannah.” She turned her head and we locked eyes. It was clear that she recognized my voice from the stories I read through Vanessa’s belly button and the multiple conversations I had already had with her. The nurses commented on it as well. I reached out to touched her hand and she gripped onto my finger. I was immediately filled with love.

They brought Hannah over to see Vanessa. Vanessa got to say hello to her before taking Hannah to the nursery. I made sure Vanessa was okay, then followed Hannah out the door. They were pushing her in a little bassinet past the waiting room, so I peeked my head in and said, “it’s a girl!” The room lit-up. Everyone stepped into the hall to take their first peek.

That was Wednesday morning. At the hospital, sleep was a luxury not covered by insurance. We were fortunate to have a private room where I had a bed to sleep in. My best guess is that we each got between 1 and 3 hours of sleep each night. Those 1 or 3 hours were taken in 5 to 40 minute chunks. Part of this was because Hannah would wake up and need to nurse or a diaper change, part of it was taking care of Vanessa, and part of it was the interruptions by the nurse staff. We came home on Saturday around noon. There has been a lot to do around here, but it is much nicer being home. Hannah is sleeping well, and last night we each got 6 or 7 hours of sleep in 30 minute to 2 hour chunks. Much better. Hannah is a little angel and we just adore her.

We are looking forward to just spending time with her and introducing her to friends and family.

Thanks,

Hannah's Dad

Hannah Elizabeth Montgomery

Our daughter was born on Wednesday, May 2nd at 7:13 AM. 6 pounds 15 ounces.

Will update more later...